The Security Benevolent Helpline
The Worshipful Company of Security Professionals

Bullying

What is Bullying?

Bullying is a wilful, conscious desire to intimidate and hurt another. It is behaviour that is offensive, abusive, and malicious or insulting; the infliction, real or threatened, of physical, verbal, written, emotional or sexual abuse.

  • Physical – pushing, kicking, hitting, violence and threats, extortion of money or possessions.
  • Verbal – name calling, sarcasm, spreading rumours, constant criticism.
  • Written – abusive letters, e-mails or text messages.
  • Emotional – exclusion, victimisation, ridicule.
  • Sexual – unwelcome advances, abusive comments, the display of offensive material.

Bullying may relate to age, gender, religion, disability, racial origin or any personal characteristic of an individual.

It can be persistent or an isolated incident. Bullying can be committed by an individual or a group.

Emotional bullying seems to be more common than physical violence. It can also be the most difficult type of bullying to cope with or prove.

Children and Bullying

Children are often bullied for no reason. Some are victimised because they are different in some way, but many others are bullied for no obvious reason. If there is no real reason a bully may invent one.

Bullying hurts. Children are distressed and frightened, and they can become isolated and lonely. Over a period of time a child’s self esteem can be affected. They begin to feel demoralised and powerless to stop the bullying. Bullied children may feel it is their fault and there must be something wrong with them.

Signs of Bullying

When bullied, children often change their behaviour. There are a number of distinctive signs that indicate that a child is being bullied.

A child may:

  • Not want to go to school.
  • Be frightened to walk to and from school.
  • Begin truanting.
  • Regularly feel ill.
  • Fall behind in their schoolwork.
  • Lose items at school, or come home with clothes or books damaged.
  • Change their behaviour, become aggressive, or distressed and anxious.
  • Lose their appetite.
  • Have nightmares
  • Ask for money, or begin to steal.
  • Refuse to discuss what is wrong.
  • Begin to bully younger brothers and sisters.
  • Attempt suicide.

What to do if your child is being bullied

Support and understanding is important to help your child cope with being bullied. Children often hide what is happening from their parents. So questions have to be asked carefully.

Talk calmly about your child’s experience. Make a record of all that has happened, where and when did it happen, who was involved, how often has it occurred.

Reassure them that they have done the right thing in talking about being bullied; be encouraging about what to do next. Explain that any further incident must be reported immediately to a parent or teacher.

Make an appointment to see your child’s teacher and explain the problem. Be as specific as possible about what has happened. Ask what you can do to help your child and the school. Understand that your child may have to change aspects of their behaviour.

If the school’s response is not satisfactory don’t give up, other help is available. Contact one of the organisations listed under the section further help and advice.

What can you do if your child is a bully?

  • Try to stay calm.
  • Try not to become angry and defensive.
  • Ask exactly what your child has been doing.
  • Ask if they have behaved like this before.
  • Are friends encouraging them to bully.
  • Punishing bullies does not end bullying. It is important to stress that it is the bullying behaviour that is not liked, NOT the child.

It is likely to be a shock to discover that your child has been bullying others.

Might there be a reason why your child has been acting in this way?

Has something happened in their lives, has there been a recent change or disruption? Is life difficult at home? Are you aware of whether your child has been bullied?

Children must not be labelled by the behaviour they display. Talk with your child and explain what they are doing is not acceptable and is making other children very unhappy.

Make an appointment to see your child’s teacher, the school will want to work with you in a supportive way to change your child’s behaviour.

Further Help and Advice

Childline

Kidscape

Bully Free Zone

The Security Benevolent 24 Hour Confidential Helpline for members of the security profession only.

If you would like to talk, in confidence, to one of our counsellors please phone 0800 316 0201.

Workplace Bullying

Bullying and harassment of any kind should not be tolerated. In the workplace everyone should be treated with respect. Employees cannot achieve their best when under fear of bullying and abuse.

Bullying can make an individual feel anxious and humiliated, angry and frustrated at being unable to cope with the situation. The stress, loss of self-confidence and self-esteem can lead to job insecurity, illness, absence from work and, in extreme cases, to resignation.

What is Workplace Bullying?

Examples of harassment and bullying include:

  • Spreading insulting and malicious gossip and rumours.
  • Constant, trivial, unwarranted criticism and fault finding.
  • Overbearing supervision and the misuse of power and position.
  • Being humiliated, threatened and sworn at, often in front of colleagues.
  • Being isolated, excluded, ignored or sent to Coventry.
  • Requests for sexual favours
  • Overloading with work and the setting of unrealistic targets.
  • Being denied necessary training opportunities.
  • Responsibilities being taken away and replaced by menial tasks.
  • Intentionally blocking promotion.

Bullying is not always face to face. It may occur also in written communications, by phone or email.

Bullying works in a cumulative way. Incidents build on previous incidents, an accumulation in which each and every incident taken alone may not appear serious. The key is that the actions or comments are demeaning and unacceptable to the recipient.

What Action Can Be Taken?

Employers are responsible for the prevention of bullying and harassment; they have a duty of care to all employees. Check to see if there is a policy on the standards of behaviour expected of staff.It should explain the damaging effects of harassment and bullying and why they will not be tolerated.

Before formal proceedings it is worth considering an informal approach. Talk with a line manager or supervisor, or a union representative. Also to other colleagues - maybe they are experiencing the same treatment.

Remember to:

  • Check the job description and contract of employment. Do the responsibilities match?
  • Keep a record of all incidents; this will be important should further action be taken. Record dates and times of when incidents happen and keep copies of any relevant paperwork.
  • Try to get witnesses to incidents. Ask colleagues if they will give their support.
  • Try to keep calm, be firm but not aggressive. Do not become involved in an argument, remain objective.
  • If a decision is made to make a formal complaint, follow the employer’s grievance procedure.
  • Ask a union representative, personnel officer or other adviser for help to state the grievance clearly.

If despite all the above, nothing is done to prevent the mistreatment, then advice should be taken on legal rights.Many of the cases taken to tribunal end up there, not because of the severity of the original incident, but because of a subsequent failure by managers to deal with the issues effectively.

Resignation may be the last resort but firstly all other ways should be tried to resolve the situation.

Advice and guidance can be obtained from Acas (The Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service), trade unions, legal advisers and Citizens Advice Bureaux. Sites giving help can also be found on the internet, details of which are given below.

There are laws against discrimination and harassment under which employees might be able to bring a complaint. For example:

  • The Sex Discrimination Act 1975
  • The Race Relations Act 1976
  • The Protection from Harassment Act 1997
  • The Disability Discrimination Act 2005
  • The Employment Equality Regulations (Sexual Discrimination) 2005 & (Religion and Belief) 2003.

Further help and advice:

Workplace Bullying

The Andrea Adams Trust

Trade Union Congress

The Security Benevolent 24 Hour Confidential Helpline for members of the security profession only.

If you would like to talk, in confidence, to one of our counsellors please phone 0800 316 0201.